Girl-Fight!

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I’ve got a couple of other things I’m working on, but I just saw this article and this can’t wait!

I’m not even gonna take a side. I’m too lazy/busy to inform myself about the whole thing (I didn’t even read the whole article) but flame war between Rose McGowan and Natalie Portman is SO hot.

I know they would probably both be irritated perhaps even infuriated with me for saying that they are hot right now, because the treatment of women in Hollywood and the world is a very serious issue, quite obviously. This whole blog is in large part me climbing up on the soap box about that very thing.  But is Natalie’s Oscar dress really that important? Debatable. I’ll let those two go ahead and debate it out. 

But sometimes you have to point out the obvious. I can’t stand watching girls actually fight. I refuse to be a consumer of women’s boxing or MMA (I refuse to be a consumer of MMA period). I don’t like seeing girls get hurt, period. But for some reason, its so hot when beautiful girls get mad at each other, especially like in this case when they really should be on the same team. I don’t know why. It’s almost like a gender-reversal version of the old meme where girls would try to get two guys they liked to fight. 

They might both also be mad at me for pointing out that they are hot since they are both serious people, but a big part of the reason I find both of them so hot is that they are both smart and serious.  I assume Hollywood girls would be fairly united in being proud of their beauty, but they probably still hate it when somebody points out that they are hot while they’re trying to talk about important social issues. So I will mention in self-defense that there are very serious chapters in my perhaps-upcoming book about how much I respect BOTH Natalie and Rose, and I was talking about Rose in something I’m going to be putting up shortly, which is why this news story so caught my attention. On top of that, I was just watching Rose for a few minutes in Charmed this morning, one of the short list of television shows I’ve actually liked.  She’s so cute. 

On the one hand, this media girl-fight is smoking hot. But on the other hand, I hate it. I wish they were getting along and working together. Even despite the content of some of their films, I will refrain out of respect from making any of the jokes that write themselves in this situation. But I would love to work for both of them anyway. Hey, you two could settle it by letting me write a movie for you!  I just thought of the perfect thing...If I tell Natalie she gets to play a college professor, she’s in already, right?

I’m not saying Rose McGowan is Meryl Streep or anything, but she never got as much work as I thought she should. And Natalie Portman’s movie career has been, like Scarlett’s, not generally oriented in the direction I would have hoped for back in her MAT Girl debut.  Though also like Scarlett, I haven’t actually seen that many of her movies because they didn’t look like they were for me. 

My admiration for Natalie Portman is well-documented,  but right at the moment, I’d be far more anxious to meet Rose McGowan because I want to talk to her about her #metoo activism, and the hostile attacks she has faced because of it, amongst other issues. There’s a lot I want to talk to Natalie Portman about too, but I feel like it can wait. 

I like you, Rose. Probably wasn’t smart to mess with THAT girl. The world is so real-time now: I just saw that Natalie responded. I’m curious whether she went with the political answer (“I support Rose and all women. I’m sorry that she didn’t appreciate what I was trying to do”) or a full-on Taylor-Swift-Boat attack. I’ll have to check that out later. If I read every article about Natalie Portman, I wouldn’t have time to eat or sleep. 

I think I know a behind-the-scenes reason that Rose is mad,  and has been mad these last couple of years and probably before, but I wouldn’t say it on the internet (or probably at all) without permission from Rose AND Natalie...and probably a few more people.  

I so want Natalie to agree to participate in this movie I want to make where I write caricatures of my favorite MAT Girls based on what I think they are like. Out of all of them, Natalie’s the one that I think I would be most right about, and this girl-fight with Rose is exactly the kind of thing that would happen to her if I am.  Her apparent buddy Scarlett is actually a big mystery to me. I wouldn’t wager a dollar on what her private personality is like, though I believe I’m right about what the substance of her character is like. But I think I’ve got Natalie Portman pegged...because just like I said about Taylor Swift, I think she’s just like I used to be in certain respects. But anyway, hottest girl-fight ever? Maybe.

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