Smoking Hot Fat Girls, Part 917

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First of all, we need to talk about so-called “political correctness” and in particular the word “fat”.

I'm generally a very liberally oriented person, but political correctness is dangerous.  Like most intellectually-oriented Americans, in school I read George Orwell's 1984, and dreaded the arrival of such a society. Everyone seemed to agree upon this, and thus, in my youth, I didn't think it was likely that anything in the book would come to pass. I saw it as a big bright DANGER sign flashing on the horizon that all educated people were aware of. In the last twenty-five years however, I have been shocked at how steadily we have marched toward that kind of reality.

The main difference between 1984 and our world today is that while Winston Smith and the others in Oceania had to endure a crumbling residences, horrible gin, and bad food, the modern world is filled with luxuries and conveniences that even the modern-day “proles” can afford from time to time. And I think that is exactly why no one cares that so much of our public discourse sounds like the Two Minutes Hate, and so many international political machinations are so obviously kabuki theater.

The aspect of 1984 that I feel has most come to pass is Newspeak. So often I hear people talking and they literally aren't saying ANYTHING. They are just streaming words together. Nkesi the African Grey parrot is more coherent. We have changed the English language to significantly limit self-expression because of the number of words and concepts that we have made taboo without really thinking very much about whether we should and what the effects of doing this are.

One of the biggest examples of this to me is that is considered politically incorrect to call a person fat. Why? Now, its stupid when these *expletive deleted* so-called straight guys are using “fat” to describe these beautiful, perfectly fine girls in entertainment who are probably on thinner side of average minus the spherical distortion of the camera. If you're calling Demi Lovato and Ariel Winter and Jessica Simpson fat, something is wrong with YOU, not them.

But if you're talking about a man like I used to be who weighs over three hundred pounds, or a woman like excellent actresses Chrissy Metz and Melissa McCarthy who are abviously large women, what exactly is wrong with the term fat?!? Fat is the official name of the substance in our bodies that creates that distinctive look. Yes, you can get super-literal and argumentative by saying its bad because a fat person isn't ALL fat, but that's being silly.

Fat is a reasonable descriptive word, and I actually think “overweight” is far worse. Overweight suggests that you are not the weight that you should be, and implies a defective status. I believe that if we established a large enough study with proper protocols, we would discover that the widely believed link between “obesity” (another word that seems worse than fat to me) and health status is not as strong as we think, and may even be entirely a “correlation does not equal causation” situation. Maybe fat people are less healthy because of all the negative psychic energy the body-shaming world hurls at them.

So I use “fat”. I used it to describe myself, and to me, it isn't an insult at all. Now, if someone tells me that anything that I'm saying to them is hurting their feelings, I'm going to stop saying it. And of course, I'm not going to walk up to someone and say something that I can reasonably assume to be offensive, like calling a Jewish person the k-word. I don't like using that structure. I think by not saying these words, we keep their power to cause pain alive. I will write most about this later...

But this is basic human sensitivity, to avoid unnecessarily causing someone else emotional discomfort. But we can't just stop using words without first having a conversation about whether it is truly necessary, or whether perhaps some people mind the word, and a large number of others don't, so instead we should say, “be careful and sensitive in your use of this word”, not just “don't say it”.

If someone asks me not to say something, and I don't understand why, and I feel that they are receptive to it, I might engage them in a conversation. And I think a reasonable person should be willing to have that conversation unless it is too emotional for them for some reason. This is how we learn about each other and live together intelligently, instead of the current situation where we so rarely have real conversations because almost everything is taboo to talk about. Even the weather is a controversial topic now!

We focus too much on words, and banning words that a lot of people may perceive as hurtful, instead of focusing on the emotional energy and intent with which the word is used. A person can say, “you are a good for nothing loser” and that night hurt a person worse than calling them a nigger. It depends on the energy in the way it is said. Something to think about, and something that I expect to be writing more about in the future.

But right now, I just want to pay tribute to a couple of truly smoking hot fat girls. There is this girl named Jen with some challenging Thai last name who has a cooking show on the Tastemade channel. Jen is nuclear smoking hot, which is the highest rating I have. I've just never understood men. I appreciate the variety of women so much. I think it is because of monogamy that most men develop a “type” and only truly appreciate women with one particular physical appearance. There are women that I find extremely attractive from all over the map.

Girls with different appearances have unique traits that other girls don't have. I love chubby cheeks and rounder faces as a rule, so a great many fat girls are attractive to me. Now, a woman with an unattractive attitude is never attractive to me, and a lot of fat girls have unattractive attitudes because this society is so cruel to them, and some perhaps because they are just flat out problematic people on their own. But girls like Jen with the chubby cheeks and round face who smile and project seemingly limitless positive energy, she's as hot as anybody. And as I think many people feel, the soft cuddly body is more desirable in...um...certain contexts than a body like Jillian Michaels', who I also think is smoking hot...but not quite nuclear...

Another one of these is Camryn Manheim, who I think is Jewish, so that still makes her a little bit hotter, even though I've got some things I'm going to have to take my Jewish friends to task about. I'll tell you how smoking hot Camryn Manheim is to me by sharing a slightly embarrassing personal detail...

So look, like most men, and especially those who have spent so much of their adult life single and lonely, I masturbate. Duh. If your church or someone else is telling you not to do this, you need to find a new reality. But this is what porn is for, and I realized in my adolescent years that I was probably on a life track where I might end up meeting Hollywood actresses, and it would be kind of awkward, for me anyway, to walk up and shake their hand when I had...you know.

So I made a rule against using Hollywood movies for that purpose when I was like, I don't know, maybe 12 or 13. And I haven't broken that rule. But the closest I've come to thinking about breaking it, and I mean THE closest, and I usually watch Hollywood's so-called erotic movies to laugh at them...The most tempted I ever was to break that rule, every time I watch the movie, Camryn Manheim in The Road To Wellville, which is also a hilarious and underrated movie.

I really like Bridget Fonda and Lara Flynn Boyle, although I would feed Laura cheesecake and Ruth's Chris for a few weeks. Although, perhaps I shouldn't say that. Is skinny shaming just as bad as fat shaming even though society values thinness? I'll have to think about that. But anyway, Camryn Manheim is the hottest girl in that movie. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Oh wait, there is Nurse Graves. That's pretty close.

I had to come back to mention a third smoking hot fat girl. Nuclear maybe, and yes, I'm going to say nuclear because a nuclear detonation plays with the space-time continuum, and the girl I'm talking about is Fat Jessica Simpson.  Shortly after writing this piece, I saw an article about her losing 100 pounds after her pregnancy.  The article ran with two photos, one of her thin today wearing a Black dress, and the other of her presumably near the 240 pounds that the article says she weighed, wearing a sparkly burgundy top.

To my eye, she is WAAAAAAY hotter in the fat picture.  I look at that and think, if a man doesn't like that, what does he like?!?!  Now, I'm not Jessica Simpson's husband or boyfriend, and I don't think I'd like to be unless she really does have a 160 IQ and is just playing kind of ditzy.  Her show with Nick was actually one of the few reality shows I've found mildly amusing.  I wish I had a DVD of the PF Chang's episode.  That was hilarious.  It's probably on Youtube...

But anyway, Jessica doesn't need to care what I think.  But every time over these past many years that she put on a few pounds and people started making fun of her, I always thought, "she looks better to me".  Not everybody does look better heavier, but maybe Jessica's natural body size is 200 pounds.  That is true for some people.  

There is some chance that picture is the hottest I've ever seen Jessica look...well, there is this one where she is wearing a white bikini on a beach somewhere...OMG.  She might find it interesting to know, in prison guys sell pictures, mostly of girls who are not famous, presumably who sent sexy pictures in to their boyfriends and then their boyfriends sold them for other men to jerk off to.  That's men for you.

But anyway, someone was selling a bunch of pictures and had a print of that one, and they were asking four times the price for it as for any of the others.  That's how popular that picture is with prison inmates.  I was going to buy it, not for any sexual purposes but just to keep to remind myself there was beauty in the world, but since everyone in prison knew I had a little money, I couldn't let myself get hustled like that.

To me, the picture of her thin in black is one of the least flattering pictures of her I've ever seen.  Part of it is that the all-black style doesn't appeal to me.  I like colors.  Miley Cyrus can do it if she wants to, because she's Miley Cyrus.  I don't want to make Jessica feel like she's getting hit with the stick from both sides, and can't please anybody.  The only person Jessica needs to please, as far as her weight goes, is herself.  If she's happy thin, great.  I just don't want any woman, or anybody, to have to stress about their weight.  How stupid is that?!?

And I don't know if she has a man or not.  I so don't follow celeb news.  I think I remember her and Nick breaking up, but I'm not sure.  I was amused by the show because it was fun to see a guy seemingly fed up with one of the smoking hottest girls around, so I remember thinking they were in ther last days then.  So I don't know if she's remarried or what, but I don't even think she needs to please her man as far as her weight goes.  She should please him by being kind to him, but if she's too fat or too skinny for him to the point he's bothering her about it, he should move on and find something he likes.

I'm not what some people call a “chubby chaser”. Most of the women that I find most attractive are in the average weight range. What I would probably consider my ideal body size is pretty close to average, maybe 10% bigger.  In fact, I just realized, I've always struggled to find a celebrity example of what I consider the ideal body shape, because while they are beautiful, the requirements of the camera make it such that most celebrity girls are thinner and shorter than my ideal.

But I just realized, Jessica Simpson in that white bikini photo is the best example of what to me is a PERFECT body shape.  Not too thin, you can see she has some muscles, but still enough body fat to look soft and cuddly and totally feminine, and with a body structure where she can gain 100 pounds and still look smoking hot. She has broad, somewhat square shoulders, which makes a woman look distinguished and strong.  Perfect.  I should point out to Jane Galt, since she's one of those smaller girls, that an ideal body type is not a factor in my choice of an ideal relationship partner.

Most men like women who look physically weak, because their instinct is to try to dominate women.  I don't want to dominate a woman.  I want to be an equal partner at least, and hey, if a girl was a millionaire when I was still trying to sneak peaks at Penthouse in B. Dalton, I'm happy to take the second position.

Most men will follow along behind any dude who has a nice jumpshot or can throw a tight spiral, but they always want to lead a woman.  But if you had started following along behind Jessica Simpson when she was twelve, look where she would have led you.  Once they are multi-millionaires, every guy in the world wants them, but once a woman has had to make it on her own as a teenage girl in a world dominated by old men, what the hell does she need you for?!?

Jessica Simpson's physical perfection aside, I love and am grateful for the infinite variety of beauty that surrounds me, perfect or imperfect. I saw a girl in the grocery store who was missing part of her lower left arm.  I had noticed she was smoking hot before I saw that.  I wondered if she would be offended by my saying, "Ok, that lower arm is about 5% of the body, so instead of a 10 you are about a 9.5".

My smoking hot list includes everything from a woman who couldn't have been even four feet tall but had completely normal adult woman proportions ("Honey, I Shrank the Hottie!"), to a girl who was over six feet and not thin, and from Natalie Portman to Camryn and Jen. It includes two amputees, waitresses and movie stars, a couple of billionaires (Kylie Jenner, and hey, Martha Stewart and Oprah Winfrey are attractive women to me).  Included are women from just about every country and culture on the planet.  To me, to say you love all your bros, and only one woman, or only the skinny women, or only the "perfect" women...I mean, how gay is that?

I hope my gay male friends aren't offended by me repeatedly saying that, as it could be perceived as me using gayness as an insult.  I just want to affirm that I like gay men more than straight men, and I unconditionally support every person's right to live their sexual preference freely and openly.  I embrace the LGBTQ community.  But I'm just trying to wake these guys up. They hate you, but their behavior indicates a lack of attraction to or interest in most women.  So what are they really?

Women are awesome. I just wish we would treat them like it. Isn't that what its supposed to mean to be straight?!? I really wouldn't be surprised if they came up with a reliable scientific way to test your sexual preference and the majority of men came up gay. Intuitively, this is how I've always felt: “Man, these dudes MUST be gay if they don't know she's hot!”

That's why, given my girlish tendencies to like malls, high fashion and domestic tasks, and my disinterest in almost all things straight male, I really feel like a lesbian. Not trapped in a man's body. For me, being a man is a privilege, and that's pretty obvious with all the shit that happens to women. A perfect case in point that is in the news right now, one of millions, is Chanel Miller, who would be a fellow Stanford alum with me if not for that dude. Shit like what happened to her doesn't often happen to men, but we let it happen to women all the time, and often let the men who do it walk to boot.

Yes, there are areas where men aren't valued (war, coal mining, etc.), but most of these are things that a man who wants to avoid them can avoid them. A woman cannot avoid walking through a world filled with toxic pathological men just trying to get to the grocery store or back to her dorm. Men have to be better or...well, I might have to nominate us for annihilation. And I'll go second just to show I'm not acting out of self-interest. I won't go first, because the other dudes would just laugh at me and walk away saying “sucker”. That's how men are. Somebody's gotta go before me so I know its a least an even trade.

But hey, women have to do their part to be excellent, too. We have to avoid “angelification” of women. Women aren't perfect and do have some problems, but in my opinion it is a fact that they have fewer than we do, if the benchmark we are shooting for is a peaceful, nurturing, safe society that is pleasant to live in. Women collectively are awesome and need to be celebrated and inspired BY MEN instead of being left to have to try to celebrate and inspire themselves. And then stupid men come back and complain that a lot of girls are entering relationships with other women. I swear some of these dudes brains don't even work. God should do a recall.

But we must remember that there are some bad girls out there and there are some ugly girls out there (mostly only an attitude can make you ugly, to me at least). We also must remember that while it is on a much smaller scale, there is “toxic femininity” as well, playing dating games where certain women manipulate men and hide their true feelings I think being the foremost example of this.

The point is, this whole body shaming thing is so destructive, and that is why I keep coming back to talk about it.  and it doesn't only come from men.  Women do it to each other too, and that can be more hurtful because a woman is more likely to trust another woman, and thus be more affected by what she says.  We have to fix this, and I have a four point plan.

Point One: If you don't find someone attractive, just say, "He/she is not my type."  Don't say they are too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, nose to big, chest too flat.  Just say they aren't your type.  There is no cause whatsoever to comment beyond that if you aren't attracted.  Focus on talking about the people YOU like.

Point Two: A lot of women don't feel beautiful because women have made it uncomfortable for a man to tell a woman that she is beautiful.  Now this part is entirely on you, girls.  When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, so many of you immediately go into defensive mode preparing to reject a dating or sexual offer, so when he has given you a compliment, you respond coldly, so men stop doing it.  The only guys then who approach you, most of the are pathological, because they aren't affected emotionally by how you respond to them.  Women need to start welcoming and gratefully accepting compliments on their appearance, and then those girls who are different will actually hear from the men who think they are beautiful and will know that they are. But...

Point Three: A lot of men do harass women for dates or for sex.  Men and women both have some role in creating this reality, but instead of fighting over whose fault it is, let's just fix it.  If women allow us to express our attraction to them freely, we need to make it a social convention that we don't press the issue, and that we never EVER give a woman a false compliment that we don't mean to try to get something from her.  After we give our compliment, be prepared to walk away, and let it be on HER then to stop us if she wants to continue a conversation.

Point Four: Ladies, it wouldn't hurt if you compliment us now and again.  Women are afraid to do this because they feel it makes them too vulnerable.  You know what, in my entire adult life, I don't think there have been more than two or three women who told me that they thought I was attractive.  I've been complimented on my eyes thousands of times, but that isn't the same thing.  As far as I know to girls, I could be an ugly fat guy with beautiful eyes.  I don't even know how I'm supposed to respond to that.  Is that an invitation to ask a girl out if I want to?  Women, stop using ambiguity for power in the gender realm.  I know you had to in the past because men were so brutal and toxic.  I get it, and I forgive you, but we have to stop it now.

If we implement this four point plan, everyone will feel better about themselves.  Imagine if you went out for the day and twenty people who really mean it told you that you are beautiful.  Wouldn't life be better?  I have a second stage to this plan that I think would make things better still, but I'm not ready to announce that yet.

But we as men need to celebrate the beautiful good women. I think a lot of men don't want to do this not for bad reasons, but because of monogamy. Men expect that their wife or girlfriend, whether current or future, will demand their full undivided attention. So men are afraid to go on the record with strong feelings about a woman's beauty, or courage, or genius for fear that some woman he likes in the future will be jealous. Women, you have to cut that out; you're only hurting yourselves.

What we really need is a society-wide gender summit, not to fight about the way things are or how we got here, but to create a viable plan that women and men can buy into to, that will take us where we all want to go. Because I rarely meet anybody who thinks that where we are is good. And I will stand up in that meeting and say, with all these beautiful people in the world, and so many of the reasons that monogamy was practical having disappeared (i.e. birth control, family planning and DNA testing), it is time to reconsider monogamy and discard it. Most people already have anyway, but because they are breaking a social rule, and to some degree the law, it makes non-monogamy look worse than it it, just like prohibition makes drugs and alcohol look worse than they are.

Now, I'm not arguing for everybody to go out and start fucking everybody. I believe that is emotionally unhealthy for most people. My own sexual ethics are that I am absolutely disinterested in having sex with a girl with whom I do not have a meaningful emotional connection with. I can't tell anyone else what to do, but I think that is a good rule to begin with. But when we feel a connection with someone, why should we create a social structure that calls for us to ignore it?!?

We have to change this, because so many girls who are fat, or unusually short, or tall, or have some trait that stands out that most people don't like too often find their love lives unfulfilling because everybody's trying to get the “best” partner they can because you get only one. And those girls get left out because most people to some degree make decision at least in part based on what society thinks. I hate using the quote because of the word at the end, but there was this hilariously foolish Youtube preacher who called himself the Spirit of Truth, and a woman called in and attacked him, and he immediately said, “I don't give a fuck what you think, bitch!”

That is the way I feel about my taste in women. Hey, that actress I saw in Vegas, most beautiful woman I've ever seen and a good portion of the world would apparently seem to agree with me on that. But there were a LOT of girls on the red carpet at the Emmys last night getting their picture taken in twenty thousand dollar dresses that aren't as attractive to me as Jen making fried oysters. And if you don't like that, I don't give a fuck what you think...”bro”.  We need to make a world where everyone feels comfortable being who they are, and if Jessica Simpson feels comfortable at 200 pounds, she needs to know that there are a lot of people out there who feel she looks fantastic at that weight.

When I started this pro-woman campaign that I've been on, I knew what the response of many men would be.  "Lonely fat guy can't get laid, so he's shouting out every girl in the world in hopes of getting lucky".  Men.

Look, dude, I been running around fancy restaurants and resorts filled with models and actresses for about twenty-five years.  I've turned down more opportunities to "get laid" than sex you've had, and I've spent time hanging out with dozens of girls that would probably be the hottest woman a lot of you have ever seen.  Some of these girls I've mentioned, I've caught giving me the eye in Beverly Hills restaurants and Vegas hotels.  I walked by Jane Galt when it seemed apparent she wanted to talk to me.  So save it.

My limited sex and romantic life has been because I won't tell a girl a bunch of bullshit to try to get in her pants.  I won't go talk to a girl just because she's famous if I'm not genuinely interested in her.  Even if I'm interested in her work, I didn't talk to some of these girls because I didn't want to add to all the excessive attention she has to deal with.  Maybe that one was a mistake, but the bottom line is, I've lived the way I've lived because I'm trying to be a better quality of man.  At times, I'm close to taking a vow of celibacy just so these motherfuckers will know I really mean it. But that is NOT the road I want to travel. Not...at...all.  That's like starving to death in a grocery store.

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