Curtain Closing

 I have literally hundreds of things that I’ve written for this blog over the past few years that I never posted, and I had been planning to do a massive amount of posting in these my final days. But I decided against it for a few reasons. 

First, my health situation is escalating to a conclusion faster than I had anticipated, and I don’t have time to review, edit and polish these writings even to the low standards of a blog post, and I don’t want my final statements to be sloppy or incoherent or misleading. 

But beyond this, I realized that my desperate desire to continue publishing represented my last resistance to accepting the circumstances of my life as they are. I won’t lie to you—this is a horrible ending and I feel I deserve better. I feel like I’ve spent the last ten years watching horrible people get rewarded for horrible things they’ve done while I’ve been relentlessly punished for things I did NOT do. 

I thought this would be temporary, that at some point things would have to turn around, but they never did. I want to keep writing, keep posting, in hope that something I say will miraculously change things, but it won’t. I don’t want to spend my last few days suffering through the same frustration I’ve felt for the last 25 years—that I pour my mind, my heart and my soul into my writing and no one cares. People love to say never give up, but I’m down 40 in the fourth quarter with a minute left. It’s time to come out of the game. 

So, there will be only two more posts on this blog, one that I’ve been asked to make by this blog’s silent sponsors, and one that I choose as my final brief message to the world. 

My thanks to all of you who took the time to read this blog, and all that I have written in the past. I wish I could have been able to tell you so much more. 

MDB