Shoutout to Sergey Brin and Larry Page
What’s up, guys? Man, I need a job BAD! I doubt that you will remember me, but I’m a fellow Stanford alum from your era (Class of 98!) and I’ve gotten myself Munsoned out here in Vegas. I’m posting this from my hospital bed with antibitotics running through a dialysis catheter in my neck and a feeding bag running through an IV in my arm.
I don’t think Scarlett or any of your little cousins in Hollywood are going to hire me. I’ve given them more than two years and nothing. I’d have waited on them forever, but.now my situation is too dire.
Obviously, I have a lot of health problems, but my intellectual capacities are intact. I figure your company can always use a good mind, and maybe you’d like the idea of helping out a fellow Stanford alum from the 90s. I don’t think we ever met, but I was one of the people spending tons of time playing around with Google when you first put it out. Had I realized you were at Stanford too, I’d have been looking for you guys. I was a very stupid smart kid back then.
Anyway, I’m available immediately and on the cheap if you think there is anything you can use me for. I’m willing to go wherever you send me and do just about any job you ask as long as it pays a living wage. I certainly wouldn’t mind returning to the Bay Area if I was earning enough to live there. And hey, appearances matter, so it wouldn’t hurt the tech industry to have a Black face around. You have regulatory issues these days, and I’m very good at talking to politicians. I’ve been dealing with those kinds of people my entire life.
I imagine Google has a large, robust intellectual property department and I have a lot of experience and solid references in that area. But I need to find some work like YESTERDAY!
I hope you guys can help me out. I shouldn’t have to tell YOU how to get in touch with me LOL...
Michael David Boyd Eagleton
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