Two-Glock Lucy

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Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life, and after the last seven years, that is saying a lot. 

Since I was released from jail just over a month ago and have been homeless bouncing from one hotel to another, the worst days have been the days when I’ve had to check out and find a new place to go. I haven’t stayed anywhere longer than three or four days because I’ve never had any idea what to do next. I suppose I’ve been hoping some form of rescue would come somehow, but it hasn’t. 

So each time I found myself checking out of one hotel, I had three or four hours until I could check into another.  In this security-obsessed society, I felt conspicuous carrying a duffel bag, knowing that if I aroused suspicion from anyone, it might lead to my arrest, given that I was officially a wanted criminal. In the past, I’d have gone to the movies, but I’ve realized that I really can’t enjoy contemporary movies anymore for a variety of reasons, mostly that the actors are TOO familiar to me. I know too much about them, and too often I see people to with whom I have some real world connection, and I think about where they are, and where I am, and it hurts too much. 

I can’t go any place where there are too many police around. I’d be very shocked if every police officer in San Diego isn’t aware of me. I don’t think they want to arrest me. I think they wish I’d run. But if I don’t show them the courtesy of avoiding them, I’m putting them in the position where they have no choice but to do something. 

So I usually end up passing those hours at the beach or in Balboa Park, which, if you’re not familiar with San Diego, is not a park in the traditional sense. It is a large complex of museums, theaters and scientific exhibits, with some offices and work spaces largely related to the arts. It’s very much like a college campus and I think must have had the same architects as some of the buildings at Stanford. 

But before I would take off for the beach, or Balboa Park, I would linger in my hotel room for as long as I could until check-out time. But this check-out day was worse than the ones before it because I only had a few hundred dollars left in my bank account, enough to book one more hotel stay for two or three days. I turned on the television and on the TV guide saw Kobe Bryant’s memorial being shown on like five channels. A man accused of a worse crime than I was, being buried as a hero in front of thousands of fans, and millions more watching on television, being eulogized by at least two women, Beyonce and college basketball star Sabrina Ionescu. I believe in forgiveness, but we’re doing it wrong. 

I felt the strongest desire to check out of my hotel, go to the parole office and turn myself in and go back to jail. A lot of people were fighting over a lot of things, but it seemed that society had lost all sense of justice. I felt such a profound loss of hope, I couldn’t see the point in delaying the seemingly inevitable for a few more days. I found myself wishing I believed in suicide. 

I sat in Balboa Park still feeling that the only course of action was to turn myself in, but as it had in my hotel room that morning, one of the strongest voices of intuition I’ve felt told me not to do it. I reminded myself once again that since I started living by my intuition, my life had totally unravelled. Maybe I had lost my mind as my step-sisters had tried so hard to assert. Turning myself in was what I wanted to do. It would have been a relief. But something forced me to do the harder thing—book another room for two nights. 

When I’ve checked into my new hotel, I turn on the television and the first thing I see is the breaking news that Harvey Weinstein has been convicted. I’m supposed to feel good about that, but why do I feel sick? 

They are showing a clip of Ashley Judd talking to a crowd of supporters. Ashley is angry and she looks hotter than I’ve ever seen her before, and that is quite a statement given that at a certain point in the 90s, I thought she was the hottest girl in the entertainment world. Why do I keep doing that, mentioning how hot girls are in the middle of discussions of important issues?  It isn’t because I’m so superficially obsessed with hot girls. I’m trying to make an important point. And then I realize why angry women are so hot...

The night before, I was watching Wonder Woman. Well, I wasn’t really watching it. The sound was off and I was doing other things, but I would occasionally look up to contemplate the mystery of Gal Gadot. Why is she a mystery?

When I first saw her, I felt this flash of familiarity. I’ve seen that girl somewhere before. I’d never heard of her before Wonder Woman. I know I never met her. There’s no way I’d forget that. But every time I saw her, I would start flipping through images of faces from places I’ve been where I might have seen her. But I never found her, never remembered why her face looks so familiar. But the other part of the mystery was, she’s not hot...to me. It’s similar to the thing I’ve got with Megan Fox. She should be hot, I know she’s hot, but for some reason, I don’t really feel anything when I look at her. 

I’m watching Wonder Woman two nights ago, and Gal does this little smile and it hits me: I’ve never seen her before in real life—she looks familiar because she looks like Ashley Judd. And the reason she’s not hot to me is that she’s not as cute as Ashley. But then I understand the angry girl thing. Women have been pushed down by men for so long, it isn’t any kind of angry woman that is hot. The angry drunk girl screaming outside a bar is not hot. But the woman who has decided she’s not going to take it anymore, she is. That’s why the only time Gal Gadot really looks hot to me is right when she changes into the Wonder Woman uniform. I know there is movie magic in that, different makeup and all, but there is still something to it. And that’s why Ashley looked so beautiful standing out there yelling yesterday, because I know she’s been waiting a long time to be able to go on the offensive against these jerks, and they got one of the biggest and worst ones.  And that leads me to the main topic that I want to address...

I posted “Girl-Fight!” about the Rose McGowan-Natalie Portman media exchange several days ago, and it is time that I say more about it. There are things that I’ve known for a long time, but it seemed appropriate for many reasons to keep my mouth shut about it, though it is whispered about plenty amongst those who are close to Hollywood. 

It cannot escape notice that while Hollywood is filled with Jewish actresses, the majority of Harvey Weinstein’s victims, as well as the majority of publicly known victims of predatory Hollywood behavior are Gentile girls. And we have to talk about this. 

It has long been apparent to me that there was a Jew vs. Gentile class divide in Hollywood. You can see evidence of this in the much-circulated stories about Marlon Brando’s exile, Mel Gibson’s drunk driving tirade, and many other accounts from the annals of Hollywood lore. And more to the point, there is a class division in Hollywood between Jewish actresses and Gentile actresses. The Gentile actresses having borne the APPARENT brunt of the predatory behavior, I can imagine many of them view their Jewish girl colleagues as protected princesses who are insulated from the harsh realities they face. The classic tale of the young girl arriving in Hollywood on a bus from Indiana or Texas and ending up bent over a producer’s desk, well, those weren’t Jewish girls coming from middle America on buses. There aren’t that many Jewish girls in middle America, and I doubt Winona Ryder rode a bus to Hollywood. 

But to understand this class division, you have to understand what Hollywood actually is. There is a chapter in the book I’ve been working on called “Jewish Hollywood”, and it deals with a fact that is rarely discussed amidst all the “Jews control Hollywood” talk: Jews INVENTED Hollywood!

When I say Jews invented Hollywood, I don’t mean “the Jews”. I don’t mean all Jews. The average Jewish person you pass on the street has nothing to do with Hollywood, except maybe they have some distant cousins working there. But the historical fact is that the American movie industry as we know it today was founded by a small group of Jewish families and entrepreneurs. There were Gentile-owned movie companies first, a cartel controlled by Thomas Edison, but they were producing different kinds of films than the modern movie. The Jewish filmmakers became dominant because their products were more interesting. 

When you see the actor Tony Goldwyn, that’s the same Goldwyn family that started Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, aka MGM. He’s not sitting in an office being rich or lounging on an estate somewhere. He’s working. And you can’t say he’s had more of a career than his talent would merit. If anything, its been less. When you see Ben Mankiewicz bouncing around Hollywood doing small entertainment jobs, he’s a member of one of the most important families in early Hollywood. If you watch a lot of old movies and you actually read credits, you should recognize the name. 

Hollywood was originally a family business, a Jewish family business, but for some preposterous reason we American Gentiles think it belongs to us. It does now—major multi-national corporations with overwhelmingly Gentile stockholders own all the major studios now. I doubt “the Jews” control Sony. 

But back when Hollywood did have Jewish ownership, why did we Gentiles think it belonged to us? Because a White man invented the camera? Because we bought movie tickets? When you buy a Ford, you don’t get stock in the company. No, we thought it belonged to us because Hollywood Jews did such a good job reflecting America (because they ARE Americans) that Gentiles thought it was the work of their own. It WAS the work of the own—their own fellow Americans that they didn’t recognize as such because they were Jewish. 

But despite the fact that Jews created Hollywood, and could have easily kept it as a closed shop, they have created more opportunity for underserved communities than any other industry. Hollywood has always been at the forefront in creating opportunities for minorities, for women, for LGBTQ people, for the disabled. Hollywood has been one of the few industries where you could rise from being poor to being a multimillionaire practically overnight if you have the talent. 

But here’s what I don’t think Rose McGowan and some of her fellow Gentile actresses understand when they are looking at Natalie Portman and some of the other Jewish girls at the top in Hollywood and thinking they aren’t fighting with them. When you ask a Jewish actress to go after Harvey Weinstein or some other Jewish man in Hollywood who has misbehaved, you’re asking them to go after someone who is a member of their community, not just a co-worker. More than that, you are asking them to go after someone who is in a sense a member of their extended family. The network of social and familial relationships that they have with these guys makes it harder for them to do what you want them to do. Rose, have you got an uncle or a cousin that you know is naughty but you haven’t said anything about it? I bet you do. 

I mentioned in another piece the parable of the chicken and the pig talking about breakfast and the chicken suggests bacon and eggs. If Natalie will forgive me for using an analogy where she is pork, this is the same scenario. When Gentile actresses are asking Jewish actresses to start throwing hand grenades at Jewish men in Hollywood, they are asking them to make a much bigger sacrifice and take a much bigger risk than the Gentile actresses are taking. Rose, you and Ashley can always go back to Oregon or Kentucky or anywhere else in America you want. As a practical matter, these girls can’t leave the Jewish community, and you don’t think these Jewish men in Hollywood have stuff they can hold over their heads?!?  You think they are protected and maybe they are—now. But the Jewish actresses in Hollywood were having to deal with guys like Harvey Weinstein and Jeffrey Epstein when they were much younger and more vulnerable than you were when you arrived in Hollywood. I shouldn’t have to explain any more than that to a woman. 

On top of that, Natalie Portman’s got way bigger fish to fry than the casting couch problem in Hollywood. What Natalie says and does is international POLITICAL news. Just about every day, people are firing rockets into her home country, and she has chosen to take on the huge and unpopular responsibility of being a public advocate for Israel. Last I checked, nobody’s shooting rockets at Eugene, Oregon. I can imagine Rose thinking, “This asshole. He’s just like Natalie...”. And I am in a few ways. But by virtue of having a career in Hollywood, you’re in a privileged position to learn a few things. 

Natalie Portman has power. And its probably frustrating for you to look and wonder why she isn’t doing more, and I can tell from that that you don’t understand how power works. Look, I know all kinds of stuff about powerful men because of my father’s position, the places I’ve worked and where I went to school. But I can’t do anything about it—right now. Powerful people build networks of relationships to protect themselves by making it so that if you come after them, you’ll be hurting innocent people in the process. And if you attack those relationships, the circle of power will turn on you. You don’t think it meant anything for Natalie to wear that dress because you don’t know all that Natalie knows about the relationships that exist between the people we’re after. When you are a part of the privileged class, it’s suicide to become a radical. You have to fight for change in more subtle ways. I know things men with power have gotten away with that are unbelievable. It would not have been possible to get Harvey Weinstein if girls like Natalie weren’t fighting. She just can’t fight the same way you can. 

The other elephant in the room is, I bet lot of Gentile actresses are jealous of the success that Natalie and some others have had and think its a kind of Jewish nepotism. In my experience, Jews are less likely to help a fellow Jew who is not qualified than anybody else.  I think lot of Gentile actresses don’t want to accept that most of these Jewish girls are just better at the job than they are. But then again...

I was up in the middle of the night last week and an old episode of Charmed came on, back when Rose still had the reddish-blonde hair. And I noticed something. At some point, Rose McGowan stopped trying to be a great actress. She was trying back then. But later on, its like she just resigned herself to the fact that all Hollywood wanted her to do is be sexy. If I had all the episodes of Charmed in front of me, I could probably identify the exact date when she quit. Of course, its harder to work under the different kinds of pressures that Gentile girls face in Hollywood. But this is part of the divide-and-conquer strategy men use against women, getting girls to fight over who has it tougher or easier, who is more or less privileged, who is more or less beautiful. But I’ll tell you Rose, I really do have a great movie idea for you and Natalie. And if you would try like you did in the early days of Charmed, you’d win an Oscar, or the fact that they didn’t give it to you would be so embarrassing to the Academy that it would be like you’d won it. 

But you Gentile girls also have to understand something else: antisemitism is real and it is a factor in the #metoo movement. I’m not accusing any of the activist women leading the movement of being antisemitic, but the way the movement has developed  has exposed the antisemitism in our society. Let’s check a tale of the tape: Harvey Weinstein, Jeffrey Epstein, Al Franken, and before #metoo was an official thing, Eliot Spitzer, Anthony Weiner. All Jewish men who either went to prison or lost their careers. But Donald Trump and Brett Kavanaugh, Gentile men, got away with it clean.  Gentile girls in Hollywood are looking cross-eyed at the Jewish girl colleagues and wanting them to do more but Donald Trump’s got a predator’s record if I’ve ever seen one, and America heard him confess to it on tape, and what, 30 or 40 million White girls went out and voted for him for President after that?!?  To be fair, not just White girls—my two step-sisters voted for him too.  And we can look outside the world of politics: Gentile actor Stephen Collins confessed to sex crimes on tape and as far as I know faced no legal action. 

So as is always the case in an antisemitic world, the Gentiles want the Jewish community to give over their bad actors, but the Gentile community won’t give over theirs. And this is what leads to the phenomenon where the Jewish community seems to be protecting bad Jews. They’ve seen this movie before. It starts with the worst Jew, then the next worst one, then the next...until there are no Jews left.  

But it goes beyond that. And again it comes back to something uncomfortable to talk about, so we don’t talk about it, and that’s worse. There is the perception out there amongst Gentiles that Jewish men are perverts. A lot of this comes from the fact that Jewish people are as a rule more honest and open about everything, so when Jewish filmmakers like Woody Allen talk openly about sexual things that go on in the Gentile world too but just aren’t talked about, it plays into this perception. 

There is even an antisemitic meme associated with this that circulates amongst those who hate Hollywood because they hate Jews—the “shiksa cult”. Shiksa is a Yiddish or Hebrew word for a Gentile girl, and the mythology that the anti-Hollywood antisemites believe is that all the Jewish men in Hollywood have a perverse sexual obsession with young Gentile girls and that this is to some degree all that Hollywood is about. Preposterous, obviously.  But if you’re a Gentile girl who has been a victim of a Harvey Weinstein or a Jeffrey Epstein, or someone who loves that girl who has been a victim, it might feel that way just as a woman who has been mugged by a Black man might see every Black man as a potential mugger. 

This is what makes these guys so insidious. They allow the entire community of Jewish men, who in my experience appear to be amongst society’s most upstanding and ethical men, to be smeared by their misdeeds, and then often when they are caught, they hide behind their Jewish identity and essentially try to blackmail other Jews into protecting them by arguing, “You know if they take me down, you’re next.”. Because Gentiles have never been able to distinguish between a good Jew and a bad Jew just like cops can’t distinguish between a Black burglar and one of America’s most pre-eminent college professors, the Jewish community has to protect itself at the stomach-turning expense of letting one of their worst members get away with things they shouldn’t. 

It is a disease we all have as humans. We protect our own. But out of everybody, Jews have a more valid reason for doing this than anyone else—the fact that Gentiles have tried over and over again to wipe them out, and they always start from the bottom. That’s the first page in the Gentile playbook. 

I was sitting in the park and I saw a family that I think was Jewish. They had two young daughters, one about six, the other about ten. The girls seemed sad and distant and I was watching them when I thought of something I’d never thought about before: If you are a Jewish parent, at what age do you tell your kids about the Holocaust?  

The younger of the two girls had a look that I would expect a child to have if they’d just learned something like that. I can imagine a wide-eyed child saying, “You mean they tried to kill ALL of us? That’s what happened to grandma and grandpa?” And you tell them, we won the war, it’s over.  But then they see a synagogue bombing on television or get bullied by an antisemite at school. These are things Gentile parents don’t even have to think about. And its because of things WE’VE done.  But then we turn around and act like we expect Jewish people to solve all the problems in the world...because they’ve already solved so many. It is truly almost impossible for Gentiles to comprehend. Black people have this genocide paranoia, but for all the oppression we have faced and still do face, wiping out Black people has never been tried and if it was to be tried would have no chance of success. But for a break here or there, the Holocaust almost succeeded. The Jewish community HAS to function differently than Gentile communities in certain ways, purely as a matter of survival. 

But I finally get back to the issue of the beauty of an angry woman ready to fight for what’s right—Wonder Woman, Ashley Judd, Rose McGowan. 

Beauty is power. There is nothing that has been more destructive to the cause of feminine equality than the failure of women COLLECTIVELY to embrace this. That’s why I keep talking about how smoking hot these girls are amidst all these serious discussions. Men have a divide-and-conquer strategy, and it is nowhere more effective than by dividing women into rivalries based on appearance, and by making men think they should not respect beautiful girls. And girls fall for it every time, and men fall for it most of the time. But that’s why I’ve written celebrating all kinds of beauty on this blog—fat girls, disabled girls, older girls, because there are more kinds of beauty than just the kind these Hollywood girls have.  

I’ll give an example: this (possibly Jewish) astronaut girl that just came back to earth, Christina Koch. Not hot by traditional aesthetic standards. But I studied physics and that girl’s been to SPACE. I just referred to her as the girl that just came back to earth. There’s nothing hotter than that. Natalie Portman, Gal Gadot, Scarlett Johansson, Amanda Seyfried, Rose McGowan, Ashley Judd—none of those girls can beat that!  Well, I have my suspicions that Amanda might be from another planet...

Hey, Scarlett, the 13.3.1 iOS update FINALLY has your absurd beautiful name in spellcheck! Seyfried didn’t used to be in there either. All of your names are in there now except “Gadot”. Get on that, Apple. But anyway...

Back when beauty was all women had in the eyes of male-dominated society, it was rational for the not-beautiful girls to gang up on the beautiful ones. But now that women can be anything, and demonstrate their inner beauty in a myriad of ways, the rivalry between the pretty girls and the not-so-pretty ones is vestigial. I’m sure Natalie knows what that word means. Some of the rest of you girls might have to go and look it up. Does Scarlett know?  That would be an interesting bet on the board in Vegas. No bet!

But stoking this division amongst women is one of the bulwarks of male power. Another is that women, collectively, suffer from the same weakness that I do...

Pretty early in life, I figured out that I was smarter than pretty much everybody else, and so I assumed that it was impossible for anyone, another man especially, to outsmart me. I saw right through so many obvious attempts that I felt I essentially had immunity from deception. Women are so much smarter than men that they don’t think men capable of coordinated deception of the sort traditionally attributed to women.  Women see men kind of like the classic Bill Paxton line in Aliens: “How can they cut the power?!? They’re animals!” 

But men use coordinated deception against women in two ways that I don’t think girls are on to at all. The first way is that toxic men conspire to create events in the lives of the few good men that are intended to make them despise women, while at the same time telling women lies or half-truths about those few good men to make women doubt that truly good men exist at all. But the second, far bigger piece to the puzzle is something else...

There is probably no field that is more male-dominated than economics. Almost all stock brokers are men. Almost all the CEOs of the major financial institutions are men. Almost all the fed chiefs are men. Almost all the economics professors and public economists are men. Nearly all the major positions in the world related to finance are held by men. Women don’t understand macroeconomics. And the reason they don’t understand it is because it’s all BULLSHIT. 

Women understand microeconomics great. I believe it is still the case that in the majority of households, the woman manages the day-to-day finances. But nearly all the decisions in society that have to do with the movement of CAPITAL are made by men. I would even bet that most of these women who have become multi-millionaires and billionaires in recent years ultimately have a man somewhere managing their wealth.  They may tell him want they want to achieve, but then he selects the OPTIONS for them to choose from, and unbeknownst to the woman, all the options that are presented to them serve male power in some way.  

Women allow this to happen because they try to study macroeconomics and it doesn’t make sense. It all seems counterintuitive, kind of like what went on with women in STEM subjects for decades. Men deliberately taught math and science in such a way as to try to confuse women to keep them out of those fields. Why?

Male dominance was originally based on physical strength. But as technology advances, physical strength becomes less and less relevant until, in the 21st century, I believe it is wholly irrelevant and perhaps even a DISADVANTAGE. Why a disadvantage?  A larger, more muscular body requires more resources, but if that extra size and strength is not needed, the consumption of those resources is a waste. In effect, women are like a small efficient hybrid and men are a gas-guzzling SUV. 

So how have men maintained power for the 150 years since the dawn of the industrial revolution, for the 75 years since Rosie the Riveter proved that women could do factory jobs just like men? Women have been flooding into STEM fields for decades now. There are more women with college degrees now than men. The last bastion of male dominance is economics. 

I will write more extensively about this in the future, if I’m not in jail or dead, but for now I will present a clear, simple argument: the economy and the entire idea of “the market” is a conspiracy between powerful men to achieve one end—to prevent women, and the few good men who support women, from gaining control over certain critical resources in order to maintain the illusion that male dominance still makes sense. And furthermore, to maintain the illusion that men are necessary at all. 

“But Michael, some men are necessary. We have to reproduce!”. Nope. We’ve been freezing and storing sperm for decades, we’ve sequenced the human genome, we’ve mastered in vitro fertilization, and we now know how to select the sex of a fetus. Men, you are on the clock. Better clean up your act or it really will be a world of Amazon women with just a few of us as slaves. I can’t wait!  I know whose slave I wanna be...

But at any rate, women who have institutional wealth need to start working in a coordinated fashion to understand and expose the sham of “the market”. I notice that a lot of these women are investing in female-owned businesses and this is good, but it has to be a secondary strategy. Women need to start taking note of the fields that are male-dominated and start gaining control of those. But it won’t be easy. Toxic men will fight back. 

You see, one of the things women don’t understand about men is that so much of what men pretend is important to them is a lie. So much of male competition and rivalry is for show. Toxic men work to try to keep the GOOD guys poor, as an outgrowth of sexual competition because they know most women prioritize financial security, and toxic men work to prevent women from being able to achieve this on their own. 

But when the locker room door, the board room door, the door on the Access Hollywood bus closes, nearly all men, rich and poor, Black and White, ugly and handsome, short and tall, liberal and conservative, are united in a conspiracy against women. They all want sex from girls but they are all gay in the sense that their most fulfilling relationships in their lives, more important than their wives or even their children, are with EACH OTHER. That’s the ugly open secret of male bonding and why it never appealed to me: most men don’t really like women OR children. They are the truest descendants of the ruling class of men in ancient Rome who said, “Women are for reproduction; men are for pleasure.”. I know that is a bombshell hot take but I can and will in the future defend it with a historical analysis of evolutionary biology that explains how this situation came to pass. 

I’m looking at the coverage of Harvey Weinstein’s conviction and the scroll at the bottom of the screen says, “Weinstein faces a minimum of five years in prison...”. I was sentenced to six. That encapsulates it, and explains why I feel sick instead of celebrating his conviction: Harvey Weinstein got away with it. These prosecutions are too little, too late, and prison will not punish him enough, nor would torture or murder. He spent DECADES as a rich and powerful man enjoying all the perks thereof, while snickering inside that he had the power to turn some of the world’s most beautiful, talented, amazing women into his personal playthings. You can’t unring that bell. 

I mean, Harvey Weinstein, Jeffrey Epstein, Bill Cosby, I hate these guys so much. When Paul Sorvino talked about killing Harvey Weinstein, a lot of people dismissed it thinking Paul had played a tough guy so much that he was just acting. I believe he was dead serious and somebody probably had to talk him down from that. I don’t even know any of these girls personally, let alone is one my daughter, but I know how he felt. The one girl in Hollywood that I kinda do know, if I’d seen her on a list of Weinstein victims...I don’t know what I might have done. 

If you believe in God, then God can deal with Harvey Weinstein. But I don’t know, sometimes God seems unreliable, so here is how I would punish him. People need to learn to understand that incarceration is only a punishment for GOOD people. I can tell you that from five years of personal experience. Bad people don’t mind it at all.  What Eddie Murphy said in Trading Places is right—the best way to get back at rich people is by turning them into poor people. 

For these rich criminals, especially the sexual predators, we need legally mandated poverty. We should seize all of Harvey Weinstein’s assets and make it a serious felony to give him ANYTHING—money, food, clothing, housing, ANYTHING. He should be assigned a team of angry lesbians that just got out of the Army as 24-hour a day, well-paid chaperones (paid with his money, of course!). They should literally set up a chair outside his front door at night like the cops do in the movies. And then he should have to work. But he should be limited to entry-level jobs, he shouldn’t be allowed to work for anybody he knows, and he shouldn’t be allowed to work for a MAN. He should have to try to find a shitty apartment that he can rent as a convicted felon and sex offender. BJ’s Brewhouse will hire you as a dishwasher, Harvey. If he then wants to plead that he’s sick, well then he should have to live on his Social Security disability benefits, and nothing more, and any other insurances or pensions he has should be seized. 

To keep him from putting a gun in his mouth, you make the condition that if he commits suicide, his seized assets will go to a fund for abused women, not to his family. But if he serves out his punishment, he can get his wealth back. About ten years of this would be enough...if he can be good for ten years experiencing life without privilege. 

Because I believe in redemption, I’d actually let Harvey Weinstein go back to work in the movie industry under the above conditions—chaperoned, entry-level jobs only, female bosses only.  You see, Harvey Weinstein was a great movie producer just like Kobe Bryant was a great basketball player. Let’s not let his personal monstrosities obscure that fact. By saying that we are going to essentially end his life because of the things he has done, we are in a sense cutting off our nose to spite our face. We should make him give something back. 

Money doesn’t mean much in this instance. Those women who have been his victims should certainly be able to sue him and get compensation, but money won’t give back what he took from them. But if he really could learn his lesson, if he really could come to see where he went wrong, if he could ever learn to understand how he made his victims feel, that, I think, might mean something to them. But that will never happen in prison. Unless you’ve been there, you just can’t understand: all it does is make people more of whatever they are. We have to become a society that provides a path for redemption, or else we should just stop wasting time and money and send Harvey Weinstein into a room with no windows with Paul Sorvino and a loaded gun, and when Paul walks out of that room we all just agree that Harvey shot himself...six times. 

What we really need in America is a something that powerful people mock because they are scared of it: We need a truth and reconciliation commission for the gender war. These types of commissions, though they are imperfect, have actually helped some developing countries move past rough periods in their history. We need to clear the air, and we’ll never be able to do it unless we create a mechanism where people can tell what they know without fear of punishment.  It would be worth it to let a few bad guys escape criminal punishment if it protects girls going forward. They are escaping punishment all the time already (Hi, President Trump! Hi, Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh! Hi, Brock Turner!). 

Women don’t have very many male allies in the fight against predatory behavior, and I know why. First of all, it’s because a lot of men are sympathetic to the predators as long as the victim isn’t a girl close to them (and sometimes still even if she is!). 

But a lot of the men women think are allies aren’t. These fake feminist yes-men who act like they are afraid to challenge girls about anything? You can’t trust them! What they are doing is capitalizing on female power fantasies by appearing to be with you, but a lot of these guys are more toxic than the muscle-bound gym rats. A real friend is not afraid to challenge you. 

If girls want to be able to build a real coalition with the few good men, they need to do something they have heretofore refused to do: they have to give up the girls they know are toxic, and they have to show a willingness to endorse and defend at least ONE man who has been accused of wrongdoing with a woman. We cannot and must not create an environment where the woman is always right. This gives women the same toxic power that men had forever. Girls need to stand up and admit that going back as far as the book of Exodus in the Bible, there have been cases of women lodging false accusations against men, either for vengeance, or for power, or for money. Yes, these events are far more rare than abuses of women by men, which are an ubiquitous event that will happen in the life of almost EVERY woman, while very few men will ever be accused of something they didn’t do.  But if the women leading the #metoo movement refuse to ever say, “Um, no. That guy’s cool and that girl’s questionable.”, it leaves the few good men feeling like they really are the target of a gender-reversed witch hunt. 

I told this cute intern girl working at the sex offender therapy center I used to go to that women were walking right into the Handmaid’s Tale scenario and this is what I meant. If women refuse to consider accusations critically and be willing to give guys with a record of being good the benefit of the doubt, and refuse to withdraw support from their fellow women that they know are toxic, then they’ll lose almost all men. But they’ll lose a lot of women too—women who love their sons and don’t want them to grow up in a world where any woman can destroy him with her word. If women are never willing to say, publicly, “No, we know that girl, and her word is no good”, it starts to be possible for the opposition (aka Fox News) to make it look like NO woman’s word is any good. This is why I want to talk to Rose McGowan so bad. I know I can make her understand that we need to fix this. 

There is a discipline that is taught at most colleges these days called “complex systems”. Everyone needs to study this because the world is a complex system. When someone says to you, “The world’s not black and white, it’s gray!”, you need to run not walk away from that person, because they are trying to sell you the idea that ethics don’t exist. The world’s not just black and white, and its definitely not just gray (that’s even worse!) The world is black and white, and a million shades of gray. It is also blue, and green, and orange, and yellow, and red, and turquoise, and chartreuse, and Scarlett blue, and rose...

We hinder ourselves with binary thinking and there is nowhere that we do it more than with gender and race. You can’t tell what side someone is one based on their color or sex. Laura Ingraham sure isn’t on the side of women!  Larry Elder sure ain’t on the side of Black folks. 

The only way to tell whose side anyone is really on is by looking at their life, not casually, but carefully and thoughtfully. Women need to realize that it doesn’t help their cause to be in a sisterhood with bad girls, nor to make the few good men feel like suspects just because of their gender. We need to really start sorting out who’s who, and that means dealing with the one big thing very few people want to deal with: our secrets. 

I can’t recall the name of the woman who said, “It’s our secrets that make us sick.”.  She’s right. At the center of all these genders issues is the fact that both men and women have lots of secrets surrounding sex because of the sexually repressed nature of American society. Men have the excuse that we are a puritanical nation and men have lost everything for what amount to small sexual deviances. Women have the excuse that men have been “slut-shaming” any woman who doesn’t pretend to be virginal since the dawn of recorded history. Why do you think I’ve been talking openly about porn stars for these past several years?  Slut-shaming will only end when men start to publicly show RESPECT to women who openly live non-traditional sexual lives, whether they be sex workers, LGBTQ girls, or just women who are unashamed of the fact they like to fuck. And this is important because I know that fear of slut-shaming is one of the main tools predators use to try to control women. 

You think its an accident that a Rose McGowan sex tape hit the internet after she became a vocal leader of the #metoo movement?  That’s no more an accident than her cocaine arrest was. People should be more bothered than they are by this kind of corruption. That’s totalitarian state shit. 

I never thought about it because I’m not a scumbag like most guys, but there is probably a sex tape of just about every girl who is sexually active. The horrible sickening thing that happened to Erin Andrews shows you how far sick men will go. I would go to the betting window in Vegas and go all-in that sex tapes being held over girls’ heads are a major factor in the lives of women in Hollywood, and in the lives of women outside Hollywood. Women have to learn that there is only one way to fight this, but any good men that are with me, they need our help. 

I was always puzzled by the fact that the girls I loved who didn’t love me (all but one of them) tried to act with me like they were virgins or something. I wondered, “Don’t these girls know that guys who don’t like me (and they are legion) are going to come tell me every pornographic detail of their sex lives to try to get under my skin?”. I don’t think any of them knew me well enough to understand that I wouldn’t have batted an eyelash if they told me they’d had a thousand sexual partners. It wouldn’t have changed how I felt about them. I’m a fucking genius—I’ve known forever that girls, pretty ones especially, were having way more sex with way more partners than they let on. I could solve that math problem at like eight years old. 

Toxic men hold women’s sexual secrets over their head with fear of slut-shaming. All these girls in entertainment who are talking publicly about non-traditional sexual escapades recently, they are on the front lines of the battle against this. When there is a big enough group of us men willing to say we’re with these girls no matter what they’ve done in their sex lives, not with them in the bedroom, but with them in the light of day in front of the world, then the next time some jerk threatens them with the release of a sex tape, she can laugh and tell him, “Go ahead, my Q rating could use a boost.”. 

I contemplate all these thoughts as I’m walking along the boardwalk by the ocean, watching one smoking hot girl after another pass me by. I try to focus on what has to be said and forget about my own situation, but it’s so difficult. What I think girls failed to grasp about me was how close I was to giving up on them and going on a savage crusade to seek vengeance against the male world and show other men how weak they really are. But this would require a single decisive step I didn’t want to make—the renunciation of my soul. 

Because you really couldn’t teach most men anything unless you were prepared to do preposterously evil, savagely violent things to them to shock them out of their delusion of being invincible, the only way I could avenge myself with men was to go all the way over to the dark side. I’m the kid that read the Bible and thought, “Satan took a third of the angels? Hmm. If I ever get mad at God, he’s in TROUBLE.”. That’s who they’re dealing with. Their standard of toughness is Michael Corleone and Al Capone and the like, and those guys are so WEAK. 

At times I think that is what girls are wanting me to do, because they believe it would be a solution for a man to go to war with the toxic male world. But it’s not. Men fighting with men actually serves the cause of male power. War serves the cause of male power. Violence serves the cause of male power. I’m fighting by not fighting. 

I don’t think women understood what I wanted from them most. I’ve stood up for lots of girls, but no girl ever stood up for me. I wanted to see girls going after the MEN responsible for what has happened to me, a man who has always been on the side of girls, with the same passion and vigor that they are going after the predators who have abused girls. Because when they really understand what’s going on, they’ll realize that nothing serves the cause of predators more than the way my criminal case was handled. It isn’t about getting my life back. There is such a thing as the truth, and the truth always matters. 

Elon Musk said he wants to die on Mars. I don’t know what his record on the treatment of women is. Amber Heard probably knows. But I say, let’s fully fund his project. If he wants to admit he needs my help, I’ll help him. Then we’ll line up a bunch of rocketships, fill them with all the toxic men AND toxic women who don’t want to change their ways, and chase them off of this earth. 

It’s now past 5am. I have to check out of my hotel in less than seven hours. I haven’t yet slept and may not be able to sleep. I don’t have enough money left to book another hotel. After all I’ve done in my life, all the millionaires I’ve worked for, all I have left is $137.26 in my bank account, a small duffel bag with a few changes of clothes and toiletries, and my iPhone. I won’t sleep on the street. I can’t afford to run. I won’t ask my toxic family members that I’ve separated myself from for help, nor will I ask any of the former friends and colleagues that didn’t lift a finger to help me these past seven years. The only alternative I see is to turn myself in, and go back to what is for me the worst of all worlds—hell. 

I’ve felt like I was on the edge of breaking for so long. In fact, I’ve already broken many times. But I’ve feared the coup de grace from which I will not be able to recover mentally or emotionally. I tell myself at some point this has to end, but it never does. I’ve never really feared death. Now, I fear immortality...if things are going to stay this way. I know people have been through worse for longer, but that is little consolation. I’ve always hated the saying “Things could be worse.”. Things SHOULD be BETTER. 

Why the title of this blog post?  I was never sure the girl I saw in Vegas was Scarlett Johansson until after I got out of prison, and I was watching the movie Lucy. In that scene at 38 minutes where she gets off the elevator looking exactly the way she looked that night, that was the first moment I felt sure it was her. When she’s walking down that hallway firing those guns,  what I felt was that she had been wondering who I was just I had been wondering who she was, and when she found out what had happened to me, that was her reaction. I’m sure that isn’t true. But that’s how I felt watching that scene, like I was watching...my avenger. 

Scarlett Johansson may not know me. Maybe her cousin that I told about this blog told someone who told someone who told her. She may not care, just like all the women I knew in my past apparently don’t care. But I won’t burn the world to the ground even though I could. I’ll try to hold on. One day, my Two-Glock Lucy will come...


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