Unusual Traits I Love In Girls
I have a theory that because sex is taboo in our society (despite our obsession with it), what we find attractive has also become taboo to discuss, with toxic feminists propagating the dangerous idea that it is generally bad for a man to make any comment on a woman’s appearance. Insulting people without provocation is bad regardless, but it is absurd to suggest men should not be able to talk POSITIVELY about what they find attractive in women in general or any woman in particular (in a respectful way, obvy).
What this taboo actually does is undermine the real feminist cause and work to reinforce the social “beauty ideal”. If guys can’t talk about what they like, then the default “perfect prom queen” girl remains the beauty standard. In fact, I think we would find that if men were allowed to speak freely, all girls would learn that their appearance, whatever it is, is what is PREFERABLE to some. Monogamy also plays a role in this in that, if you only get one partner, it incentivizes everyone to pursue partners that SOCIETY sees as most attractive.
There are a lot of unusual traits that I love in girls. It isn’t so much that these traits are rare as that I think it is unusual for men to like or, as is the case with me and some of these things, actually PREFER them. But I don’t know about that. One of the lessons porn teaches us is that there is somebody who likes EVERYTHING. Not just somebody; a lot of somebodies! I can hardly think of any female characteristic that is not its own subgenre of porn. If we allowed men to speak more freely about what they like in girls, so long as their tone remained positive and respectful, women would hear more positive things and it would help the self-esteem of those not blessed to be born looking like Margot Robbie.
So in keeping with that, here is my list of some traits outside the normative beauty ideal that are not commonly loved by men but that are loved by me. This is not an exhaustive list of things I find attractive, but only the things I think the vast majority of men either don’t like or don’t care about.
Big noses - I didn’t really figure this out about myself until I was about 30, but I find girls with large noses SO attractive (why do you think I like Scarlett Johansson so much!). It is almost the case that a big nose makes a girl hot to me no matter what else is true about her, and a small nose makes a girl not hot no matter what else is true (Daisy Ridley is super cute, though).
A girl’s nose almost can’t be too big to me. I once saw this sideline reporter on CBS during a college football game and she seriously looked like a female Pinocchio. Her nose looked like the fake one Matt Damon was wearing in Ocean’s Thirteen. She was so smoking hot. This was NOT Erin Andrews, who I get every time I Google “CBS sideline reporter with huge nose”. Erin’s nose isn’t even that big by my standards. I guess in light of this, my affinity for Jewish girls should not be at all surprising. Jewish girls, I love your noses! Will I get in trouble with Abe Foxman for saying that?
Pimples - I don’t mind pimples and on a certain type of girl, I find them really cute. I’m weird in that while I like to see women dressed nicely, and I strongly endorse manicures and pedicures and well-cared-for hair (though a girl doesn’t have to do any of this if she’s cute enough to me), I usually think women look best with no makeup or a bare minimum of it, even if their skin is not perfect. I like the natural look and there is something about a girl’s skin in its unretouched state that is just way hotter to me. Makeup to me is sort of like a costume. I’m not opposed to a nice costume on occasions that call for it. But my girl, on a day-to-day basis, she doesn’t need to wear makeup for me. If she wants to for her own reasons, fine. But girls with a little acne? Smoking hot. It also seems, anecdotally, that Jewish girls have more pimples, and maybe that’s another reason why I find them so hot.
Cellulite - I wrote a post about smoking hot fat girls a while back. I didn’t include fat girls in this list of traits because I actually believe most men find fat girls attractive, but stupid male conformity social pressures make them deny it. That’s a different issue. But I want to talk specifically about cellulite, which is found on some fat girls and some girls who are not fat. I don’t find cellulite hot in the sense that I feel every girl should have some, but on girls with a particular skin tone and body type, it’s hot. And I’m not necessarily against it in any case...Well, a person can have too much of anything.
Nerds - You might think because I’m writing a blog about smoking hot Hollywood actresses that this is my beauty standard. But you don’t get it. You can go tell Scarlett Johansson, Amanda Seyfried, Natalie Portman, all these girls, their secret is OUT: I know they are all nerds in disguise. I just wrote about Ryan Michelle Bathe. Smoking hot actress, right? This is a girl who has a BA from Stanford and an MA from NYU. A smoking hot nerd-in-disguise is what she is. But I love undisguised nerds also. I’m not talking about the Hollywood trick of taking a supermodel and putting her in glasses and a ponytail and having her play a nerd. I’m talking about the real thing—girls who study science, have pimples, never wear makeup, and like these Jewish girls, have a penchant for Converse All-Stars as their choice of footwear. Bet on the board in Vegas: How many pairs of Converse All-Stars does Scarlett Johansson own? The over/under is set at 9.5. I’ll take the OVER!
Another part of the appeal of nerds is what I call the Alyson Hannigan band camp phenomenon, based on that great scene in American Pie. There is just something more attractive about the idea of discovering that a nerdy girl is actually sexy versus a girl who walks around acting sexy all the time. The nerd that turns into a pornstar when the door closes. Speaking of, I highly suspect Tori Black of being an undercover nerd as well. But you don’t have to be one of these sexy filmed entertainment nerds to be hot to me. Any girl who has a high level of technical intelligence (a prerequisite to being a true nerd) is hot to me.
Aspies - So I would probably be diagnosed with Asperger’s if I went to a doctor who was in the business of diagnosing that sort of thing. One day soon, I’m going to publish my (I think novel) theory on the exact nature of autism. How much of an Aspie am I? I’ve actually started the project of counting and identifying every apple that ever existed on earth. Quite obviously, I don’t expect to finish this project myself, but it might need to be done one day, so someone has to figure out how to do it. Why apples? Long story. This is the sort of shit I do in my spare time since the world doesn’t seem to want to let me have a real job. When a flock of birds flies overhead, I have to stop myself from counting them. At home, when I had a home, my 600 or so DVDs were arranged by shades of spine color like a light color spectrum chart...
A lot of the girls I find myself most smitten by as I’m walking around are girls that I peg as being high-functioning Aspie geniuses like me. How do I identify them? Well, first of all, most of us Aspies pay more attention to things than people. Because of my unusual background and the fact that I’ve got so much brain bandwidth to spare, I pay equal attention to both. But when I see a cute girl avoiding eye contact and performing some task with computer-like precision, I think, “There’s one like me. She’s so hot!”. A lot of these girls have retail jobs. Aspies seem to like working cash registers. I’ve got a long list of smoking hot probable-Aspie girls who work at stores I frequent. A lot of these Hollywood girls, in addition to being undercover nerds, are undercover OCD Aspie geniuses like me...Hi, AMANDA SEYFRIED!
Muscular girls - A lot of guys accuse muscular women of looking manly, but they don’t to me. Obviously, as with anything, there is such a thing as too much, but within reason, female bodybuilders and fitness models are smoking hot to me! I just only ever see these girls with dudes who are obvious gym rats also, and it’s only like maybe one in twenty of them that return a look and usually even then it just seems like they are proud that their muscles got noticed, not that they are attracted to me.
So I don’t bother to consider these girls because it seems that subculture of people only date their own. And I get it. It takes a hell of a lot of time to build and maintain that kind of body, especially for a girl, so it’s going to be one of your main life activities and you’re going to want a partner you can share that with. But, Jillian Michaels? SMOKING hot. Bodybuilder turned pornstar Denise Masino? Smoking hot. Most of these girls in pro wrestling? SMOKING HOT!
Small boobs - Like large noses, I was in my thirties before I realized that I like flat-chested girls. Not that I’m necessarily against big boobs (my ex-girlfriend was DD), but they certainly don’t move the world for me like they do for a lot of guys. And I really don’t care for the big perfectly spherical fake ones commonly seen in porn, although some of the pornstar girls I find the hottest do have them.
I used to work with this girl who was smoking hot and relatively flat-chested. She called me into her office one day and told me she was about to get a boob job. I don’t think she was telling me for any personal reason. We worked in a very small office and she was going to miss a few days of work, and obviously I was going to notice when she came back, so I think she just judged it better to mention beforehand than to deal with awkward shock later.
Anyway, I told her I thought she looked fine as she was. I wish I told her in stronger terms, i.e. that I thought she was smoking hot and didn’t need to change anything. Not that my opinion would have made a difference to her. She was trying to catch the attention of a certain kind of guy who goes for “T&A” (she used to date an MMA fighter). She had plenty of A, but not enough T for those types of dudes. I’m sure she did better with her fake DDs. My realization that I liked flat-chested girls came about because of this girl, and how mad I was when pornstar Brianna Love got breast implants. Well, not mad but...frustrated that conventionality always wins. And now Tori Black did it too. Girls please, STOP!
Large labia - So this one is a little provocative, but I have to mention it. OMG, that particular trait is SO HOT to me. I was ready to go apeshit when I found out girls were actually having surgery to have this “corrected” so they could be more “normal”. I thought, “NOOOOoooooooooooo!”. I wanted to go like those crazy anti-abortion protesters and go picket outside the offices of the doctors who do this surgery with a sign that read, “Don’t Go In There. Your Pussy is Beautiful!”. I wanted to say something to that effect publicly long before now but it seemed too...delicate LOL. Look, I get the obvious potential physical inconveniences of it, and if it’s too annoying living with that on a day-to-day basis, I get it. But still...it’s so hot OMG.
Funny thing is, I never would have realized that I loved this if not for watching porn. It’s not exactly like it is a trait that you can see in public. Well, the way some girls are dressing these days, every now and then, you can. I’ve identified some facial features that often seem to correlate with this, but not reliably so. And it’s not like you can ask.
While quite obviously it isn’t something I’d make a relationship decision based on, each time I’ve been about to have sex with a girl for the first time, I was practically praying that she’d be one of these. Out of the relatively small number of girls I’ve slept with, I have not run into this yet (well, one girl kinda—let’s say she was to this trait what a 5’8” girl is to “tall”, and oh wow was that a lot of fun!).
For years, I debated placing a hookup ad on Craigslist (back when Craigslist had ads before, in our culture of overreaction, we let a couple of crazy dudes ruin it for everybody). I was going to run an ad just saying that I was looking to hook up with a girl like this, but I always talked myself out of it as I talked myself out of most endeavors involving casual sex. Based on what I have seen in porn, it seems that Latina women overwhelmingly have the highest percentage of this, which is just another reason that I find them so smoking hot. Extremely athletic girls also, seem to often have this. As I said, it’s hardly a basis for a relationship, but if the life partner I’m looking for turned out to possess this trait, that would be like a super-awesome bonus. There’s one celebrity girl I really like (not Scarlett) who said a curious thing in an interview that made me think, “Wait a minute, is she saying...”. If so...OMG.
When it comes to all these things, because of my relentless self-examination, I know why I like them. If I like or dislike anything, I always ask myself “Why?” until I understand it. I have specific either emotional or intellectually-based reasons for liking each one of these things, though I won’t belabor this post to elaborate on them. One day, I’m going to have to get you guys to start paying me for my content, and I’ve got to have some juicy content left to write when that day comes.
But for now, I’m planting my flag to let all the flat-chested athletic Aspie nerds with big noses, pimples, cellulite, and huge labia know, YOU’RE SO SMOKING HOT!!!
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